keeping tabs part two

About a month or so ago, I made a post about how I have been losing people that I love. I said how I hoped that I never lose my girlfriend. Well, in a way I didn't. I pushed her away, more or less. It is hard for me to pretend everything between us was great, because it really wasn't. We hardly ever talked, and when it was it was only for maybe ten or fifteen minutes. She makes decisions and does things without telling me about them. No, I didn't want to have say in them, I would just like to know what it going on in her life. Oh well.

I guess it couldn't have happened at a better time, me breaking up with her. I have been having really bad mood cycles, and I've been hating myself and feeling stuck in a spot I was not particularly fond of. So here I am, all alone with a huge mess to clean up. It is hard to appear heartless in the situation, because if she just took a moment to put aside her bitterness and see how badly it hurt me also, and hold that against what has been going on in my life, she would understand that everything was for the better. Besides, I am a kid and I need to be able to date people and learn things about myself. I don't even know how to kiss yet.

So here I am. My friend Rya that I used to be close to has stopped talking to me. I guess we can't even be civil? It doesn't matter. I've got my Pensacola starlets, my Sunshine rabbits, my California boys, and my Heading-nowhere crush. I just hope that life continues to be so interesting, because it is all looking up for me. Here's hoping this week is a good one, and that I get around to actually doing my homework sometime.